The Tragic Story Behind Radiohead’s “How to Disappear Completely”

photo courtesy of pixabay

Marley Crawford, Staff Writer

In 1997 Radiohead went from a small local band to one of the biggest bands in the world overnight. With the release of their album Ok Computer, Radiohead was thrown into the spotlight at full force and lead singer, Thom Yorke, couldn’t take it. During all of the chaos of touring, performing, and working on their next hit album, Yorke was ready to give up completely on the band, almost quitting on stage. While he and the rest of the band were working on other music, Yorke put all of his stress into one song; How to Disappear Completely. It’s a song of dissociation, confusion, and anguish. The part of the song that resonates most with people is the repeating line, “I’m not here, this isn’t happening” The infamous line was inspired by a piece of advice Michael Stipe, lead singer of REM, gave Yorke. He told him to, “Pull the shutters down and say ‘I’m not here, this isn’t happening’” Many interpret his advice differently but the way I see it is he’s telling Yorke that when he’s under pressure to disconnect himself from the situation. To make himself feel like he has a 3rd person view of whatever he’s going through. I also see it as talking back to the voices in his head that are telling him to quit and give up. Most of the anxieties Yorke was experiencing weren’t because of anything bad happening in the real world, it was coming from his head. By saying, “I’m not here, this isn’t happening”, Yorke could remove himself from the situation and the voices in his head. The way he put all of this into song is harrowing. The song opens with droning quiet synths and an acoustic guitar, opposite of how most of their songs sounded at the time. The lyrics discuss being in a dream-like state. “I walk through walls, I float down the Liffey” This lyric describes an actual dream Yorke had, I dreamt I was floating down the Liffey and there was nothing I could do.” In verse two he discusses leaving. “ In a little while, I’ll be gone. The moment’s already passed” This lyric can be seen as him telling people that his time is limited so they should just enjoy the music or as a way of expressing how people let him slip into a deep depression. The song closes with him crying out “I’m not here,” over and over again, the background music gets louder and louder until the last few seconds where he is louder than the noise overtaking him, finally overcoming his depressed and empty state.